The one in which I strongly sympathise with The Thinker

Buckle yourself in, because this one gets deep… It’s a deep dive into the deeper meaning of deep time.

Trigger warning – reading this blog post may result in an existential crisis.

So, here’s the thing. As an infant, all you really need to do to express your wants and needs is scream. Do this, and the people around you will jump into action to fulfil your every wish. As a result, when we move from infancy to toddler-hood, we grow to believe that we are the centre of the universe. At this age – and in some cases, far beyond – we are incapable of understanding our insignificance in the grand scheme of things. And often, even as we head into adulthood, we forget that the human race is a tiny blip in Earth’s history. Truly, ignorance is bliss, because every now and then, something will come along to remind you of your true place in the universe. And man – that can really ruin your week. 

Below is an impression of the geological time spiral – basically it shows the history of the Earth from its formation 4.5 billion years ago to present (well, present-ish – but more on that later). I chose this illustration because it is an excellent representation of the various eons, eras, periods, epochs, and ages that Earth has been through. However, it is also an excellent representation of the emotional downward spiral I’ve been on since Prof Jen’s first lecture on our atmospheric history.

The Geological Spiral of Despair

Remember that stark reminder I mentioned? Here’s mine: 13.7 billion years ago, cosmic events well beyond our understanding (for most of us anyway) led to the formation of our universe. In what is truly a beautiful mess, space itself exploded and the resultant matter was drawn together by gravity to form the very first stars and galaxies. This Big Bang was the catalyst for the birth of our universe, which of course includes the formation of our very own planet Earth. According to the Solar Nebula Theory, sometime around 4.5 billion years ago clusters of gas and small grains condensed into tiny planetesimals, which collided with each other to form the planets we know today.

Enter Earth – a large body of rock comprising a core, a mantle, and a solid crust, just like our nearest terrestrial planet neighbours. Now, early Earth would not be considered a prime holiday destination – the entire planet was caught in a vicious cycle of formation and destruction as extensive volcanism constantly recycled the crust. The atmosphere was predominantly made up of nitrogen, methane and ammonia, and there was no liquid water to speak of. In short – it was an entirely unliveable space. So, what happened?

Over the next few billion years, interactions between the elements, and particulate matter, temperature variations, geological processes, and the emergence of the earliest living organisms  result in a habitable earth. Was it pretty? No. But it was perfect. For example, just enough dust was emitted by volcanic eruptions to increase the amount of light reflected by the atmosphere, which decreased the average temperature on Earth. This decrease in temperature resulted in the condensation of water vapour, which formed the oceans. Some of the earliest life forms found in the ocean had the ability to photosynthesise, which gradually increased the amount of oxygen in the atmosphere. This in turn resulted in the increased formation of ozone, which allowed for a greater diversity of life.

The jellyfish and worms evolved, and later the early vertebrates, like hagfish (ugly – but necessary). Plants moved onto land in the all-important Devonian age, and this allowed for the evolution of insects, spiders, and amphibians. The forests grew in size, height and diversity. These new biomes were inhabited by reptiles, dinosaurs, mammals and birds. And then... some 4.499 billion years after the formation of the Earth – modern humans emerge. Oh boy.

Your mom was right - there are plenty of fish in the sea. 

Unfortunately, some of them are hagfish.

Now, we’ve done a lot with our very short time on Earth. We moved out of Africa, crossing oceans and deserts to settle all across the world. We domesticated animals, started farms, built cities, built the pyramids. The great philosophers, artists, writers and scientists emerged. We harnessed the power of wind, of fossil fuels, of the sun, of water. We bent the forces of nature to our will. Think: the steam train, the industrial revolution, the space race, the feminist movement, the technological revolution.

And all of that extraordinary, beautiful, awe-inspiring chaos has led to this point... where people film themselves eating spoonful’s of cinnamon for the entertainment of internet dwellers.

Can we blame the missing links for their absence? It’s entirely possible that they choose to remain missing out of shame. Look where all of that evolution got us.